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I don't know where to turn to, who to turn to... Sometimes I think I'm crazy, a freak of nature.... I assure you with all my heart that what I'm about to share with you is nothing but purely the truth. I'm not asking for anyone to believe me, I am not going to waste my time on lies. I'm in some ways seeking solace or a explanation? Sometimes I find it very hard to believe myself. Just lately I've come to the realization that this is infact serious and I must be crazy going out of my mind... I'm scared. I honestly think I'm crazy at times and I know if I started telling my friend's, family or co worker's they would think I'm weird!!!! After some comtemplating, I googled upon this site and found that perhaps if I share my experiences with you all... maybe, just maybe someone out there, is going through the same experiences I am.
I always knew as a child I was different. I just couldn't figure it out. I still don't think I have. As a young child I always had gruesome thoughts running through my mind from time to time. I could simply be enjoying the moment and out of no where, a terrible picture of someone getting stabbed or run over would appear in my mind. I actually recall the times where I would wake up feeling sick to my stomach because I knew something bad was going to happen to someone close to me. As a child I remembered how my emotions were so much more raw. I remembered waking up worried sick one morning, just knowing that my grandma was going to fall ill. I cried thinking that she was going to pass. I told my aunt that day about my feeling putting it off as a dream I had, in which she scolded me for this. My grandma hates the dr and hospital's. That week she got so ill she spent a few weeks in the hospital. She lost alot of weight. Over the year's there had been so many small minor moments like these that have just come and passed. Never have I payed much attention up until now. Now I'm all grown up and married and have moved to the big city of Toronto to live with my husband. I don't think I'm psychic, but never have I ever had more clearer and precise predictions till now. Remember, I don't make predictions, certain events come to me whenever they want. I don't know if maybe I'm just paying more attention to myself because I'm more mature now.... or maybe I'm just making sense of it better. A few years ago, on boxing day my husband and I went to the mall to return some items we had received on Christmas. The mall was overcrowded...so you can only imagine the line up's. I had told my husband that I would wait outside the store since I hate crowds. I come from a small town so I am not use to the noise or crowds at all, nor do I like it. As I waited for my husband outside while he stood in line to return items, I fell into a daze... It was almost like a day dream, except that all a sudden I saw bullets spraying through the crowds in the hallway of the mall. I shook myself straight and thought how crazy I was to have such a weird day dream! At that moment, I started to get a really uptight feeling in my chest. It was almost like a panic attack and I was really anxious, just knowing that something bad was going to happen. When my husband returned, he stated that we needed to go to the Eaton centre to return more items. I immediately told him that I had a bad feeling and I didn't feel like going anymore so we ended up going home. I told him that we could return it next week. The next morning while we were in the car, we heard on the news that on boxing day at the Eaton centre there was a shoot out. Alot of people got injured and a young girl got killed. I was shocked...I also learned that the shooting was not in the mall but outside the Eaton centre where alot of busy shopper's were out with their family and friend's. Then there was the time my husband and I were returning home from visiting my parents' from another town. We were on the highway when the same panic attack occured. It was a sudden rush of panic and I just knew something was approaching. This must've lasted for a good five mins. I had told my husband to slow down, slow down ....Just as he was slowing down, a huge accident had occured in the lane ahead of us. There would've been no way we could've stopped to avoid it had we not slowed down. We were lucky to quickly switch lane to avoid it and take a different route home. I commute to work everyday by subway. But there was this one certain day the panic attack hit me on my way home... I couldn't figure out what the HELL it was... It was bothering me so much and I was trying so hard to search my mind as to what could possibly be bothering me so much. I kept thinking, "is a terrorist attack happening?" Then I knew at that moment, I had to get off the subway... something bad was going to happen to the rail. I wanted to get off so badly, except being new to the city and being that it was such a long commute home, I wouldn't know how to get home by bus. I felt so anxious to get off, because I just didn't know when that fatal accident would happen. I remember asking myself, when, when, when??? In the newspaper the next day, it had said there was a derailment that late evening. It was not the subway that I normally commute to work. It happened to another train from the city next to our's and it was said that luckily nobody was hurt. Because of the derailment, the train ran off the tracks and crashed into a empty building. This is when I started to taking my visions more seriously. I am still scared. Sometimes I don't know what to make of it. I had never told anyone... So I decided that I had to share this with the one person who know's me best... my husband, he's my bestfriend, the one I confide in about everything. When I told him about the Eaton centre shooting to the subway incident, he didn't believe me. He thought that it was just coincidental. He said in a jokingly manner, that the next time I have these panic attacks and see any sort of visions, to share them with him so he could believe me more. It was weird, because just two days later, I started getting the same panic attacks again. It was late at night before bedtime and I ran to tell my husband. He asked me what I had visualize... I told him that I couldn't see anything, but for some weird reason I have a feeling that there's going to be a fire... A real big fire and I don't know if it's going to be our house, or our neighbour's but it's close by. That night we ran around the house making sure all the stoves were turned off and all his ciggarette butts were butted out well. By earliy moring there was a huge fire that burned down nearly a whole street of buildings down our street. Alot of people lost their homes and business's. They closed the busy street and it took a few days to put out the fire. My husband was dazed and confused! I was scared shitless... From that day on, he started trusting my visions. It has been a while since I've had any visions. That is until just last weekend. I had never tried to persuade my mother in law more than ever to drive her out to downtown to do her weekend shopping that she usually does every wk. because we live close by to markets. I even told her that it was going to rain and perhaps we should drive her since my husband and I were going to be downtown anyway. She refused, so my husband and I left to go visit his good friend. When we got to his friend's house, I remember sitting there and having a conversation with the friend's sister. No panic attack this time, but a digital time popped into my head. It looked like the number's on my alarm clock. It was bright red, it went from 3:00 to 4:00 than back at 3:00. I didn't think much about it, but after the friend's house we went out to get a quick bite. As we were driving home, I had a really defensive day dream in my mind. It was a rather quiet ride home. I kept trying to figure out why I was getting so defensive in my mind. At first, I was trying to defend my father and then I shrugged it off... As we got closer to the house we saw my mother in law from behind waking up to our house. Following right closely behind her was a tall figure my husband and I both thought was a family friend who usually frequents our place on weekend's. She must be returning home from shopping.
For the oddest reason, instead of turning down the alley to park our car in the back like we do normally, my husband and I at the last minute decided that we should just park the car infront of the house. As we were just about to park the car, I spotted my mother in law flagging her hands in the air meaning to tell that tall figure to go away. He was leaning in so close to her which seemed strange. And what was even more strange was that they were both at the front door and my mother didn't want to open the door. I told my husband to stop and find out what was going on...He slammed on the brakes in the middle of the road and ran out to scream at the individual standing next to my mom. He turned around and was surely not our family friend... Instead, he looked creepy... tall, six feet tall long haired carrying a empty knap sack and had a roll of newspaper tucked under his arms. He calmly said to my husband that he was just asking her some questions. I signalled for my husband to come back and park the car as other car's were behind us. Once we parked which took less than a min, the man had fled off on foot. My mother in law said that he had followed her home and kept asking her if she lived alone or had a family. My mother ignored him thinking that he would dissapear. As she got home she didn't realize that he was still following closely behind her. At the front door he demanded to go into her home... I was spooked out as the time this happened was at 3:00 and it was perfect timing that my husband and I got home just intime to rescue her. My husband was so angry he set off on foot to look for him. I feel horrible now, because I didn't tell my husband that I had saw 3 o'clock coming... I didn't get the panic attack. I feel guilty... Sometimes I think that if I shared my complete thoughts and visions, my husband would think I'm strange and making up stories in my mind. Then I start to doubt myself and think that what if I share my visions and nothing comes out of it??? I am making this a big deal because it's scaring me and I wish I wouldn't be such a freak... Why do I see these things or know these things.?? I wish I wouldn't have such stupid thoughts. After this happened, I told my husband that I had a bad feeling and he assured me that he believes me from now on... he is encouraging me to share everything with him now. Do you think it's possible my quiet moments of bad feelings in the car ride home reflected on him to act on time as well? This has nothing to do with visions, but there was the one summer after my father in law passed away, I was home alone and saw what I think to be a ghost. He came out of one wall floating slowly to the wall across from it. It was a dark shadow in the figure of my father in law. I was scared shitless as I do not believe in ghosts. It happened right infront of our front window on a bright sunny day too. What was weird was that he had no feet... He was just drifting...I remember blinking thinking that I was hallucinating, but as I saw him drift across, I knew it was real. I cried and called my husband to hurry home immediately for I would be outside until he came home. Never in my life had I been so scared. To this day I tell myself that I had imagined it. I sometimes am in denial about it but I think it's just my way of suppressing the fear. I wonder why I don't see the full picture sometimes... Why I am not able to visualize or predict instantly ... Is it because I don't want to believe in my visions, is it because I haven't fully accepted it? I wish I had the answers. I will post more visions to come as I am noticing now that there are too many to remember or keep track of. This will be sort of my journal to reflect on. It helps me feel less freakish when I'm writing this, and maybe if someone out there is reading, you will be able to relate. Thanks for reading.
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Its a good thing my friend. I believe everyone is psychic. Some people dont choice to raise their energy and use this ability. You do xoxo I work as a reader and deliver messages from spirit to the people that come for a reading. I joined a spiritual developement group and it helped me to trust myself. You are not weird star. There are many people like us. Good luck with your journey and trust trust trust... xoxo